I’ve gone radio silent on this blog the past few weeks for a couple of reasons. The first is I’ve been working on my book and that zaps my writing strength. The second is I’ve been grappling with the inevitable emotional fallout of revisiting a difficult time and exposing the details publicly through this blog. Of course this is nothing compared to what I should expect once the book is finished and offered for public read, so perhaps it is a good test run to see if I have the mettle to withstand the vulnerability that comes from transparency.
For the record, the comments I’ve received, both on this blog and through private email, have been lovely. Friends and acquaintances who were unaware of my past have written to tell me how shocked they are, how brave I am, how they never imagined that this could happen to the strong, outspoken, successful lawyer, writer, and marketing professional they know, or thought they knew. Others, many of them strangers, have simply written to thank me for telling my story, because it’s their story too.
Even with all of the support, digging deep to relive and reframe painful memories is lonely business and it has crossed my mind more than once to give up. But last week I got a gift from Time magazine. The publication’s decision to honor the Silence Breakers (http://time.com/time-person-of-the-year-2017-silence-breakers/) has emboldened me to continue with my own truth telling, even though breaking my 25-year silence is both embarrassing and emotionally draining. But the #metoo women (and men) inspire me.
So here I am, back at my laptop, writing my truth and letting the chips fall where they may.